I gave him an ultimatum and I need to know: was I fair?

i think this was a wise choice on your behalf. Most people cannot handle to toll a long distance relationship takes on the couple involved. For instance: My brother-in-law is in the ARMY. This ultimately means that he will have to go abroad for a year and my sister won;t get to see him. They have already spent a lot of time apart because, he is in the military. Many of the women she has meet on base are in the process of divorcing because, the family cannot take the strain of the long distance aspect of the relationship, and these are married couples with children we are talking about here. You and this man are not even married and you admitted that you can't handle another few years long distance. If military wives with families cannot do it, then how does he expect you two being an unmarried couple with no kids to take much more of it. I don't understand why he is unwilling to move in with you after being in a committed relationship regardless of distance for four years, I mean, that is longer than my husband and I have been married! You know how much you can take and if he isn't willing to take the next step then this could show he has a severe lack of will to commit (commitment issues so to speak). If he can't accept your ultimatum then yes i think it's time to find a man who is closer to you.